No You Are Not An Imposter!

By Feb 23, 2017Member Blogs

By Griselda Togobo

I have been having some interesting conversations with two of the young women I mentor. We’ve been talking through their future plans and how to leverage current opportunities to progress within their careers.

These young girls are succeeding in their chosen fields and blazing new paths yet they are living in constant fear.

Everyone tells them how great they are and come to them for advice yet deep down they don’t believe any of what they are being told.

They have a secret they cannot tell anyone. They are waiting to be found out because they don’t believe they are deserving of the success they have achieved. In fact, they don’t believe in their ability to do their jobs well even though we can all see them doing it well and excelling at it! They feel like an imposter and are just waiting to be found out!

Can you relate?

Well, let me (re) introduce you to imposter syndrome. Everyone suffers from it! Throughout our professional lives, we’ll need to learn how to cope with what I call regular imposter moments if we are to achieve our personal best.

I personally also have my imposter moments and have had to develop ways to cope over the years to enable me to keep doing what I do and to keep pushing against barriers. This imposter feeling gets heavier with every accomplishment. It's important that we learn to keep it in check.

Here are some ideas to help you manage those moments when you feel like a fraud. You need to learn to coach yourself out of the negative inner chatter because they will only hold you back.

• It's not just you – everybody suffers from it. Everyone from the very experienced to the least experienced. Take solace in that fact.

• Take the focus off yourself – and focus on your work and the value you bring to the workplace. It's not about you. Sadly.

• Make time to reflect and keep a journal  – this is a good way of reminding yourself of everything you've achieved to get to where you are today. We tend to forget and attribute everything to luck. Although luck has a role to play in it, you wouldn't be where you are without having demonstrated that you deserve to be there. Having the headspace to reflect and be mindful helps you to cope better with everyday challenges and develops your mental resilience.

• Keep the inner chatter positive and be kind to yourself. What you tell yourself matters. Much more than what I tell you. That voice in your head telling you-you are no good is a lie. Don’t believe it. Your continued success depends on what you believe to be true about yourself.

How have you coped with those moments when you’ve felt like a fraud? We would love to hear from you.

 

As we approach International Women's day, we’ll be celebrating on the 3rd of March 2017 in Leeds, the 7th and 8th of March in London, by asking you to #BeBoldForChange. We want to encourage you to use your voice to help forge a better working world - a more inclusive, gender equal world where both men and women can thrive. Join us on the 3rd of March in Leeds to hear three game changers share their achievements, challenges and give you an insight into how they are working to make a change.

Join us on the 3rd of March in Leeds to hear three game changers share their achievements, challenges and give you an insight into how they are working to make a change. Find full list of events here.

3 Comments

  • Sarah Giannone says:

    Oh my gosh! I was talking about this today, my exact words were, ‘I think its fluke that schools are getting in touch with me to buy in work ‘, I honestly constantly feel like my life relates very much to the Emperors New Clothes, are people seeing something I’m not in my service.

    i would love to attend this event but unfortunately I am in meetings all day that day. Would you do these events closer to Blackpool or is it always in Leeds and London?

    Many thanks,

    Sarah

    • Jelena-M says:

      Hi, Sarah! Thanks for your comment and enquiry, we appreciate it and we are glad that you enjoyed this read.
      We do a lot of events in different regions, for instance, our monthly Power Business Breakfast Clubs run in Manchester, Newcastle, Leeds, London and Birmingham.
      You just have to keep an eye on our events calendar to find events that run in your region. You can find it here >>> http://forwardladies.com/networking-events/
      Also, if you are not our member yet, but you would like to be notified about these events you can sign up for our Free Membership to get a fortnightly newsletter here >>> http://forwardladies.com/sign-up-to-newsletter/

  • If you haven’t seen it already it’s worth watching the Amy Cuddy talk on how your body language shapes who you are: https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?utm_campaign=ios-share&utm_medium=social&source=email&utm_source=email.
    There’s a very moving moment when she shares “passing on the power” about how to cope with imposter syndrome. Let’s all #BeBoldForChange tomorrow (and have a few minutes somewhere to ourselves as wonder woman or the conquering heroine). Here’s to us, forward ladies!

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